Clueless, But Well-Paid

One of our clients is a big company. A BIG company. You've heard of it. It's publicly traded and it's international and all of its employees have those cool little rectangular security badges with their mugshots on the front.

Maybe I'm naive, but I suppose I thought such a big, important monolith in the business world would kind of have its shit together.

Turns out that's utter bullshit.

Our key contact at the big, important monolith is the same brand of scatterbrained, lost-in-space goober one might expect to encounter at Arby's or the car wash or the varmint control aisle of the hardware store. She is the go-between that bridges a gap from her boss to us, and you must believe me when I say she's as dumb as an empty toilet paper roll.

We have a project. We've been working on it for three months. We were challenged to "really push the envelope this time." We did. But the big, important monolith balked. Too risky. So we came up with something else. Nah. Too "out there". And so on. When a large enterprise says it wants to "push the envelope", you should know that it's code for "I want you to chase your tail around your ass for a few weeks, until such time as I tell you that we should have pursued the safe, boring, uninspired route we always take so please start over and have it on my desk before you leave tonight."

We acquiesced, because we're whores, and gave them a big scoop of vanilla. They liked the vanilla. It was comfortable to them. They signed off on it and everything.

Today, the flunky middle woman from the big, important (SPINELESS!) business monolith called to say "Oops. I never showed this to my boss but she just saw it and she says it needs to be changed significantly. But we can't move our deadline and we can't give you any more money and you should probably just get on your knees and lick my boots for even getting you in with a company of our stature. Thanks. Bye."

I wonder if it's natural to want to take a dump on someone else's car. Because that's really what I want to do right now.

Comments

[krisppin]

Thanks DGM. I ask and you post! Wow do I feel powerful. No really, thanks for the new post and the laugh this morning. I say if you can find her car then go for it!

[Jeff]

When they told you, did you say something like: "Oh, I'm so going to blog your ass, motherfucker?"